Facts about Chuck Norris

Apparently these are circulating via e-mail, but they’re also on several blogs.

A few of my favorites:

  • Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

4 thoughts on “Facts about Chuck Norris

  1. When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  2. My brother sent me this one:

    Someone once told Chuck Norris that the roundhouse kick is not the best way to kick someone. Historians contend that this was the worst mistake ever made.

  3. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

    Chuck Norris is actually dead. Its just that the Grim Reaper is too afraid of him.

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